


Remember that there are stars

by Never_Happened



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: M/M, My First Fanfic, Suicide
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-18
Updated: 2020-08-18
Packaged: 2021-03-06 05:55:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,339
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25964743
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Never_Happened/pseuds/Never_Happened
Summary: Remember that there are stars, Harry. And remember that I will always be watching you.-Draco Malfoy
Relationships: Draco Malfoy/Harry Potter
Comments: 2
Kudos: 31





	Remember that there are stars

Harry woke up, shivering and drenched in cold sweat. Something didn’t feel right. He realised the warm heat that he usually woke up to was gone, the familiar weight that draped over him missing. Tiredly, he sat up and looked around his room.

“Draco?”

Silence greeted his call.

“Draco, love, where are you?”

No reply, just the sound of the wind whistling outside.

“Malfoy, this isn't funny!” Harry yelled, losing his patience. His voice echoed dimly in the confined space. _That fucking git,_ Harry thought. _Where in the bloody middle of the night is he?_ Mere seconds away from losing his cool, Harry almost apparated straight into the kitchen to bloody murder Draco when like lightning, realisation hit. The anger drained out of him as his mind fell into an endless pit of guilt and regret, of longing, of grief.

“Oh.” 

The wind outside started to howl.

__

__

##### Earlier that day

__

__

__

“May I please speak to Auror Potter please.” A gruff voice asked, scaring the lady dozing off at the front desk. 

“S-sorry sir and m-ma’am, but i-if you don’t have an appointment w-with him, then you can’t.” The young lady stuttered in shock, staring at the two adults in front of her. Ron and Hermione Granger-Weasley glared at the frightened woman, as if daring her to speak out against them. The woman gulped and muttered a quick prayer before showing them to Harry’s office. She ran off before the couple could thank her.

“Harry, you there mate?” Ron asked cautiously. The door swung open and Harry, oblivious to what was going to happen, ushered them in cheerfully. 

“Hey Ron, hey Hermione. What are you guys doing here at my office? Not that I don’t mind a break from all this,” Harry spoke as he sat down at his chair behind his desk. 

Unsure of what to do, Hermione handed over a closed file with a carefully crafted envelope and bottle. Harry looked up sharply at them and studied their faces closely. Hermione’s hands were shaking and both looked as though they had been crying. 

“What is this?” he asked, gesturing to the items now laid on his desk. 

“Just, just read it mate, yeah? Don’t think we can break it out to you with words,” Ron muttered tiredly. “It’s not bloody good at all.”

Cautiously, Harry opened the file and read the first two lines.

_This file is addressed to Harry James Potter, partner of Draco Lucius Malfoy.  
At noon, Mr. Malfoy was found dead under a willow tree near Hogsmeade. _

The file was slammed shut, making Hermione jump up in fright. 

“H-Harry! Control yourself a bit mate. You're scaring Hermione,” Ron burst out fearfully. 

“Control myself? Who the fuck did this?” Harry burst out, glaring at Ron with anger burning brightly in those emerald eyes. Ron backed away from his best friend. 

“Read it. We were only told that Draco had d- is gone. We don’t know why or how. Just bloody read the file.” 

Harry restrained himself from letting all hell break loose.

 _Who fucking did this?_ Harry thought angrily. _I’m going to give them a fucking piece of my mind._

He flipped open the folder with more force than necessary and skimmed through the file.

_A vial of what was identified as dragon poison was found lying next to Mr. Malfoy alongside a note to give the envelope and a bottled memory found in his rucksack to you. Mr. Malfoy did not appear to be under any sort of trance or spell when he died, nor any other form of control that could have suggested him to drink the poison._

_We think it was suicide, confirmation may be found in the envelope and memory, yet we have restrained ourselves from inspecting the contents and have given it straight to you as this is apparently Mr. Malfoy’s dying wish._

Gritting his teeth, he carefully opens the envelope, noticing how it was delicately handcrafted by Draco himself. 

_Dear Harry,_  
_I love you, and I apologise for everything._

He couldn’t even pass the first fucking line. The way it was written, so elegantly, so full of meaning. 

_I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you._ The thought ran through his mind, chasing away all the anger, leaving a hollow pit of grief.  
_So why did you leave me?_ Harry thought, wanting to scream it out loud. He barely knew what happened next, just that the ground gave way under him and there were frantic shouts above him. 

_Draco, why? Why did you leave me? Draco, come back, come back home._

_Come back to me…_

Then nothing. 

##### Now

Slowly, Harry made his way outside to the weeping willow outside the Malfoy manor. Sitting at the roots of the tree, the leaves fluttering around him, Harry cast a small lumos and stared absently through the gaps between the strands of leaves in front of him. With a shaky breath, he reached into his pocket for the envelope and letter.

_I hope you understand my decision. It is not something that I would have wanted to arrive at, but I feel that I can no longer hold on. I want you to understand that there is, well was, nothing you could’ve really done, but merely extended my time in the living world for just a little longer. I still would have killed myself sooner or later. The decision I committed really was inevitable and I’d rather leave the world by my own hand and not bloody life’s choice._

_There are bloody stars out there, never forget that Harry._

_I don’t mind if you forget about me over time. It happens to everyone of course, and obviously the public will be glad that I'm dead and left forgotten. Apologise for me to those who even considered me a friend, not many I presume, most likely none at all._

_Look forward to your life Harry, you don’t deserve to carry my baggage. I’ve seen you tremble under it when you thought no one was looking. This is part of my reasons to commit this action. I want to free you from my burdens, the stigma that follows me, all the things from me that have weighed you down._

_Look up at the night sky Harry, I’m up there, watching you, you bloody git._

_There are stars out there, there is a bright future for you out there. Sometimes you can’t see it, my love, but it is right there._

_I love you,_

_Draco Lucius Malfoy_

Harry wipes his eyes with his sleeves as the tears fall down uncontrollably.

“Bloody git, I love you too.”

The wind continues to howl, the leaves around him swaying helplessly in the clear night sky. The moon shines brightly above, the silvery light making everything just a little brighter. As Harry looks up, he notices a single star peeking out from behind the leaves. Everything is bliss around Harry, the numbing of the cold, the whispers of the wind, the soft leaves that tickled him as they gently brushed his skin. 

He leaned his head against the tree trunk wearily, closing his eyes and taking in the cool nights whispers of silence. He was angry that Draco could ever think that Harry wasn’t willing to take Draco’s burden onto his shoulders, angry that the public could drive Draco into suicide, angry about everything that has hurt Draco, angry with himself. But he knew that the anger was only a figment of his memory now, knowing that Draco’s letter and his voice inside Harry’s mind had chased the anger away. Another star caught his attention when Harry cracked an eyelid open, then another, and another, until it seemed to him that the sky was filled with stars.

 _By Merlin’s beard,_ Harry thought with a sad chuckle, _there really are bloody stars out there._

_And if only you were here to guide me into that bright future you see for me Draco. If only, my love, I stepped into that future…_

_...with you by my side._

END

**Author's Note:**

> My first fanfic. And written in a day! My god, what has my life become. I admit, I have been stuck in drarry fanfics ever since I found out what a fanfic was. I'm sorry for the death of Draco Malfoy in this fanfic, my mind can wander into strange places. 
> 
> The phrase this fanfic is based on, there are fucking stars out there, is something that kind of just popped into my mind after I finished reading the masterpiece Denouement by the_never_was. Don't ask why, it just happened. It took me a while to understand maybe why I thought of it and I had a realisation of finding stars, of finding hope. 
> 
> We only see the stars shining brightly on a clear night, or as I see it, kind of like when someone is having a good day. On a cloudy night, or a bad day, the stars are barely visible, or not there at all. But they are still there, shining behind the clouds, burning proudly in space. Hope is always there, sometimes it just takes time to see it in front of you. Remember that there are stars out there, remember that there is always hope, you just have to wait for the right moment to show you. 
> 
> If you made it this far reading the note, thank you for reading my rambling. Take care of yourself dear stranger. 
> 
> Until next time...


End file.
